Saturday, August 16, 2008

Let the Games Begin

Bears case manager at school emailed me yesterday. He has an excellent, involved hard working case manager who I appreciate very much. If I email with a request or an idea it is implemented right away. If you do not have a child in special ed in public high school a case manager is simply the special ed teacher put in charge of seeing that his IEP (Individual Education Plan ) is followed by all the different teachers and he kind of coordinates all that goes on with Bear. His email said "Bear came in and said he is a lot more mature this year. WOW!"........How many of you just rolled your eyes? Of course a child with RAD is going to say that. It is short hand for "leave me alone I can handle all things with no help from you." Sigh. I just said Thanks. Good. I hope he is successful. It is normal for teen to break away some from mom at 16 and want to be more independent. It is making the whole attachment work so difficult. Like I said before, it is all up to Bear at this point. I am trying to answer correctly. Very hard. Be loving. Dare I admit it is very hard. We have had no success in looking for a job. Our attachment therapist says that I should not be working harder than Bear....that would be impossible to do at this point. I do not know how I could work any less. The weekend is here. Today is Dancer's last day at home. Tomorrow she leaves for college 5 hours away. It will be me and the 4 guys again. And a couple of them will react negatively and with vigor to her them it is yet another loss. Another person in their lives leaving.


Christine said...

It has been interesting to learn a little nuance to RAD. What the outside world praises in our kids, makes us roll our eyes. What we notice and praise, makes the outside world roll their eyes.

For instance, the pianist at church came up to tell me what an unusual interest dd8 has in the piano - even asking details about how the piano was made, and I should sign her up for lessons (I roll my eyes).

Yet, this week as we were eating out and the whole family was divided between two booths - ds12 turned around to talk to my husband and I, and he leaned up (SOFTLY!!!) against my shoulder - totally in my personal space. Talking right next to my ear. He did it throughout the entire meal, off and on. If I told someone in the outside world about that, they'd roll THEIR eyes (like, what's the big deal?).

So, I'm celebrating my shoulder love I got on Thursday, and keeping it to myself. I will also allow my dd8 to corner said pianist again at church, for a good half hour, and see how that works for her.


Brenda said...

Awww. I can see him doing that. That is nice. Good luck with the piano thing. : ) I'm sure she would practice faithfully every day with no fight just as my son will brush at school with no supervision 3 times a day! Ok. All together. One two three. Roll eyes.

Patty said...

I have learned so much about RAD by reading your blog. I just never knew about it before. God bless you and your family.

Blessings, Patty

Brenda said...

Thanks Patty. I just went and checked out your blog.I'll be back to read more! Looks like a great place for encouragement.

Renee said...

LOL - WOW! I can't believe they bought that.