I get a daily online devotional and this was in it this morning:
You are not born a winner
You are not born a loser
You are born a chooser
Simple but oh so profound. Every day our child with RAD makes choices. Will I try to trust a little? Will I push harder? Will I listen and do what she says? Will I let the fear take over? The choices my 16 yo is making currently are going to lead to a very tough life for him. But then I have choices. Can I just think about today and not worry about the future? Do I parent on purpose? Be proactive instead of reactive? Play offense not defense? I is so easy to slide into just reacting to his behaviors and being defensive. It takes faith and determination to say I am going to look past the behavior at the fear and parent the frightened little boy. Why? Because the way he reacts to his fears is strong and feels so personal. I think the reason it feels so personal is because it is a birth mom reaction. A very strong reaction to motherhood. I am the "current" (in his mind) mother. I am going to share this little poem with my boys but mostly today for myself I am going to ask what I want to choose. Have a healing day!