Thursday, June 19, 2008

Quiet Time

I am in the midst of a quiet time. I am sitting in Braeda with my laptop, a cup of coffee and a cinnamon roll. Alone. Summertime can be a great time to do outdoor activities with the kids. It can also be a time when mom gets no time alone. I believe moms of special needs children must have some time alone to calm the nerves, regroup and refresh. At least this is true for me. I guess I shouldn't speak for everyone. It is hard to find this time during the summer. Here are some ways I have found with older kids. I drop them off at the library to look for books. I leave and go grab a Diet Coke and a newspaper. I run back to the library and help the boys with their books and check out. So far each time I come back they are sitting reading their books. One thing I have managed to do right with my children is to share my love for reading. I drop them off at the Y and run and have coffee with a friend. Now I do split them up. One goes in the gym and the other either works out in the weight room or swims. They cannot be together. There is too little structure there. I take them to my husband's office. One sits in the break room the other in a different room. They take along things to do such as books, hand held games or puzzle books and do this while I go have some quiet time. My point is quiet time for moms is important. Please take care of yourself. When you are calm, refreshed and happy it reflects back onto your family life. "If mama ain't happy ain't nobody happy."
AND SO YOU KNOW I do know how hard this is. I just received a call from my husband saying our youngest son had cut up the chair he sat in at his office with a knife. He was in the break room during the time so there are some kitchen utensils in there. It is hard to leave a child who is scared and hurting. If we want to stay emotionally strong we must do it anyway. Just realize there are going to be some negative consequences. It is that important to take care of yourself. Besides, this can be seen as an opportunity for him to learn. We have talked about his behavior being driven by fear of me not returning. But I did return and I always will. Hopefully some day he will trust that. The way he experiences is it is when he sees me leave and come back.


Rachelle said...

Glad you found some quiet time. Mine usually seems to always come at the end of the day in the tub, or on my walks/runs. But lately, everyone has started to come along : ) Oh well, they need to be healthy too!

Emiley said...

Thanks for the reminder on this one, Brenda. I am getting better at this - it seems to get easier for me as the kids get older. Now that we can leave them home alone for short periods of time, hubby and I are even getting lunch dates once in awhile, too!