Sunday, June 8, 2008

Our Attachment Issues

Our family's attachment therapist explained to me once that all of us have some attachment issues. Rachelle and I were talking about this at church this morning. Experiences from our own childhood such as illness, separation, changes in child care, death or divorce change the way we feel safe. Even experiences as an adult change the amount of trust we have in others. The way we feel about others may change as years go by. If it interferes with your life I advise finding a pastor or counselor to talk with about your fears. If it interferes with parenting your child with RAD I would discuss it with an attachment therapist. You need to get through your own fears to better help your child. When we understand ourselves we can better understand others. In my reading for school this week I came across the phrase "emotionally alive". I love this phrase. How many times do we allow ourselves to live emotionally afraid, trapped or angry. How much better to be emotionally alive. If you are fighting battles yourself that are too large for you please find a professional to talk too. It will make all the difference. I know this from experience as part way through our boys counseling session I needed to find some counseling for myself. I feel so much stronger and able to deal with my boy's issues because I did. EMDR therapy is the choice that worked very well for me. It only took 4 sessions to make peace with issues that had troubled me for years. Often while dealing with our children's issues it will bring up sadness or fear from our past we had never really dealt with. We should not expect our kids to stand up and face their fears if we are afraid to do it ourselves. It is a good example to them when we do it. Mine do not know the details of the more personal issues but they know I have spent much time with the counselors alone and I have told them I talk to them about what is troubling me. Have a healing week!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Great advice! Sorry I missed you yesterday ~ had to leave quickly for a ball game. I hope you have a great week! Denise R.