Friday, June 13, 2008

Attunement

We had some moments of being attuned to one another last night. Those moments are sweet. We had a rough couple of weeks which escalated into yesterday being the roughest day of all. Both boys were in on it yesterday and it ended in a fight between the two boys and a pair of broken glasses. I realize all siblings fight. When two boys with RAD fight it is a whole difference intensity and attitude. I asked what the fear was. The last few weeks when I asked this question I got a sneer and "I'm not afraid of nothin'." Last night I got honesty and then we were able to talk about the fear and where it came from. They were afraid I'd be in an accident when I left them yesterday and wanted to be with me. I explained that very young children go through a stage of being afraid to be away from mom. When she is gone, they cry. They probably missed that stage of development. They have huge anxiety when we are apart. I told them while I do understand this fear we cannot be together every second of every day. I asked if they would like it if they never had the opportunity to be alone and they said no. We reviewed what they are supposed to do when they are afraid: Pray, think of a place where they feel safe and do some EMDR tapping to calm their minds. I'm sure they will have many more times of fear. But last night at least they opened up about it and we had a good talk. I'll take what I can get!

5 comments:

Denise said...

Sorry it was so rough! Sounds like you handled it like a pro though. It's great that you can talk things out and reason with them ~ I'm still waiting for my daughter to get to that point. Right now it's just outward defiance in every aspect. Hang in there - I'll keep praying! Love you!

Brenda said...

Thanks Denise. She is just a little squirt yet. Tough when they can't say what they feel. Love you too! : )

Brie said...

I'm happy to hear something good came out of the fight...it's great that they were able to talk about their fears! I hope you are all able to have a peaceful weekend!

Tami Boesiger said...

I thank God He gave you a little glimmer of hope yesterday. It seems like the last month or so has been tough at your house.

It occurs to me that every time I read your words, I sense your strength and wisdom, seeing little weakness. But there must be times you need to shut yourself in your bedroom for a good cry. There have to be times you feel very alone. In case this is one of those days, I utter this prayer.

Lord, I thank You for the wisdom and courage of Brenda. I praise You for equipping her to deal with this trauma in her boys and for having the compassion to reach out to others in this blog. Lord, keep building her up. Encourage her efforts. Help her see improvement in her sons. Give her hope and the determination to keep pressing on.

I thank You for her kids and for the knowledge that nothing they have experienced has escaped You. We pray earnestly for their healing. Show them mercy.

We love you, Lord. Nothing in our lives is a mistake. Enable us to do what you have asked of us and do it well.

Amen.

Brenda said...

Oh Tami...thank you. I'm printing this off.