Friday, June 13, 2008
We had some moments of being attuned to one another last night. Those moments are sweet. We had a rough couple of weeks which escalated into yesterday being the roughest day of all. Both boys were in on it yesterday and it ended in a fight between the two boys and a pair of broken glasses. I realize all siblings fight. When two boys with RAD fight it is a whole difference intensity and attitude. I asked what the fear was. The last few weeks when I asked this question I got a sneer and "I'm not afraid of nothin'." Last night I got honesty and then we were able to talk about the fear and where it came from. They were afraid I'd be in an accident when I left them yesterday and wanted to be with me. I explained that very young children go through a stage of being afraid to be away from mom. When she is gone, they cry. They probably missed that stage of development. They have huge anxiety when we are apart. I told them while I do understand this fear we cannot be together every second of every day. I asked if they would like it if they never had the opportunity to be alone and they said no. We reviewed what they are supposed to do when they are afraid: Pray, think of a place where they feel safe and do some EMDR tapping to calm their minds. I'm sure they will have many more times of fear. But last night at least they opened up about it and we had a good talk. I'll take what I can get!