Most of us feel like we have to be Super Mom. There is no such person. Forget about her. Mother's Day is coming, the holiday many mother's of RAD children dread above all others. The day your children are the most angry, most resentful, the most sad. In fact, Nancy Thomas has written an article entitled Surviving Mother's Day. http://attachment.org/pages_parents_articles16.php I seemed to have talked to so many discouraged mother's lately. Mothering a child with RAD actually can cause Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Here are the symptoms as listed by Wikepedia.
"Difficulties regulating emotions, including symptoms such as persistent sadness, suicidal thoughts, explosive anger, or covert anger, which is characteristic of passive-aggressive behavior
Variations in consciousness, such as forgetting traumatic events, reliving traumatic events, or having episodes of dissociation (during which one feels detached from one's mental processes or body)
Changes in self-perception, such as a sense of helplessness, shame, guilt, stigma, and a sense of being completely different from other human beings
Varied changes in the perception of the perpetrator, such as attributing total power to the perpetrator or becoming preoccupied with the relationship to the perpetrator, including a preoccupation with revenge
Alterations in relations with others, including isolation, distrust, or a repeated search for a rescuer
Loss of, or changes in, one's system of meanings, which may include a loss of sustaining faith or a sense of hopelessness and despair "
Variations in consciousness, such as forgetting traumatic events, reliving traumatic events, or having episodes of dissociation (during which one feels detached from one's mental processes or body)
Changes in self-perception, such as a sense of helplessness, shame, guilt, stigma, and a sense of being completely different from other human beings
Varied changes in the perception of the perpetrator, such as attributing total power to the perpetrator or becoming preoccupied with the relationship to the perpetrator, including a preoccupation with revenge
Alterations in relations with others, including isolation, distrust, or a repeated search for a rescuer
Loss of, or changes in, one's system of meanings, which may include a loss of sustaining faith or a sense of hopelessness and despair "
If this sounds like you, please seek professional help immediately. Parenting a child with RAD is difficult for even the very best mother. It is not a sign of weakness in you or that you have inferior mothering skills. It is a sign your child has severe emotional issues in need of treatment. This may also set off emotional issues in mom causing us to need treatment too. I know I talk often of taking care of yourself. Professional therapy is important for mom's too. Do not hesitate to seek it out.
Much love and hugs,
Brenda
1 comment:
Love the picture, and the wisdom!
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