Friday, April 25, 2008

A Message from MY Heart


I used yesterdays story last night! My youngest was pretty explosive before he left for school yesterday. I thought if he made it through school it would be a miracle as big as the parting of the Red Sea. At 3 o'clock (school gets out at 3:06) the Principal called. My child was sent to the office for behavior and refused to go. The principal called down to the room he was in to tell him to come to the office and my son hung up on him. He told the teacher he had to or he was going to cuss him out. No we don't cuss in our house, but I can guarantee you they still learn them from other kids. So I jump in the Jimmy and head down. It moves into a much longer more boring cycle of him going to the office with me. Chewing out the principal, chewing out me, none of this is his fault. At one point he even put his hand on my back and pushed me threw the doorway. I used every tool I knew. He mocked me. I told him to go ahead. I am strong and smart and can handle it. "Let your anger out. Good. Tell me more." At home I gave him some cool off time which did not cool him off. I went in and started rubbing his back and telling him I love him and will never leave. I understand he is afraid. This went on for about half an hour. I finally told him yesterdays story A Message From the Heart. Now this is my child who has worked very hard in therapy and made some great progress. Regressions will happen. So I was able to tell him afterwards I had given him a piece of my heart. I know he has given me a piece of his. Everything is all right we will get through this together. I left and gave him more time. He came out and told me what was bothering him and we hugged. This morning is much better. He has in school suspension. We will see how this goes. Did I deal with this alone? NO. I talked with him and remembered the tools taught to me. Then I "talked" with my support group about it. I talked with our attachment therapist about it. Use the tools you learn. They do work. Seek support. We can do this together. Oh and incidently, on the way to school I found out my other son has a detention but does not "remember" why. When it rains it pours. Some days are just like this.

6 comments:

Rachelle said...

Brenda, so sorry for the pain you have been dealt. Your heart story is beautiful. A great illustration & lesson for everyone. I'm praying things will be better for you all today. Hugs!

Brenda said...

Rachelle,

I just went in his room and found it trashed. He is hoarding food again. Tearing apart the wood on his bed. It is a sign of hurting and fear, not defiance. I am going for a pedicure. Thanks for being here. It means a lot to me.

Tami Boesiger said...

Oh Brenda,

How do you do it? Praying for you and your precious boys.

Molly said...

Brenda,

I found your blog looking for a camp to send my RAD girl to this summer. I feel what you are going through! We are too!

(and pedicures help me a lot!)

Brenda said...

Hi Molly. So nice to meet you. I hope you found a camp.

Brenda said...

Tami,

Thanks for the prayers. They are appreciated so much.