I combined the next two because I feel they are kind of the same thing. It is a fascination with death and destruction. I know many little boys are fascinated with guns, swords and fighting. In fact, this is the one area where people always say "Oh Brenda you are just used to your 2 quiet girls and you are not used to boys." Hmmm. How long did it take them to "get used" to having boys? This is different. It is more like an obsession. They talk of violence, draw violence want to watch violence and may even threaten violence. I feel a need to be somewhat protective of my boys here for some reason. I am not going into detail of what they have said or done other than to say one did draw the picture above. We are very careful about what they watch. I look for movies and books with heroes. I have found that they also like action movies. So I look for movies with more action, less violence. I'm sure if you have sons you know that is not easy. We are careful about what they read. We are careful of the music they listen too. I try not to give them to much attention for violent talk because if they know it bothers me it increases the behavior. I just change the subject or ask if it is appropriate. It seems to work to say "Is that something mom's like to talk about?" While working on peer relationships one thing we talk about is when you are having a conversation try and think of things the other person is interested in. Oh and keep the matches in a lock box. I feel this is a heart matter. When your heart is full of pain and anger that is what will come out. You will know your child is improving when this behavior decreases.
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