Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Overwhelmed by RAD

This is a little more open and personal then I am used to on the Internet not knowing who is reading it. In the hopes that there is a mom out there somewhere who needs to hear this I am going to be brutally honest. There was a time almost a year ago when I was completely and totally worn down, overwhelmed and discouraged. I cried at the drop of a hat. I had no idea what to do next. I felt like a failure as a mom and knew that I was also not meeting the needs of my emotionally healthy children nor my husband. This was about a month after we started attachment therapy. When you begin attachment therapy it causes the child's behavior to escalate to levels that are unimaginable. I can't even put it into words. I had 2 children in attachment therapy and not only had their violent, abusive behavior toward me escalated but they teamed up against me. My husband was as kind and understanding as he could be. It was at this point that our attachment therapist said "I want you out of town." So I went to my mother's and stayed for 3 days. I slept or rested pretty much the entire time. I had not realized just how physically and emotionally drained I was until after that when I felt so much better. This is when I learned my lesson on taking care of myself. Now when I feel I suddenly cry a little to easily, lose my temper to quickly or am having to go to bed too early I know I need to take better care of myself. This is not a case of being selfish, too prideful or even "Looking out for #1". It is a case of if I am not physically, emotionally and spiritually strong I cannot parent my children, nor be the wife or even the person that I want to be. Soooooo, now I exercise 6 days a week, am very careful about what I eat. I take time for activities that I enjoy. As I said yesterday Take Time To Play. If you don't your fatigue will allow you to make bad choices. Your since of being overwhelmed will cause resentment toward your child and you will not have the strength required for parenting a child with RAD. MOM'S TAKE CARE OF YOURSELVES. IT IS ESSENTIAL FOR SUCCESS WITH YOUR CHILDREN WITH RAD.


Denise said...

Great points! It is so difficult to always be "on your game" with these kids because they change the game so quickly and so easily. I totally agree with you. The only way to be prepared as best as possible is to be well rested, well energized, and right in spirit. I can appreciate your honesty. Sometimes I think I am still in that hole, but other times I feel empowered. It's a lot like being the ball in a tennis match. I just wish the rackets didn't sting so much! Love you! Keep us going - and yourself too, of course! You are doing a great job of reminding us who we are and that we matter too!

Brenda said...

Even with great self care it is easy to be discouraged when they are out of control. It is a battle not to be fought alone. We all need each other. Thanks for always being there.