Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Attachment 2008 Style

In today's busy society we are losing sight often of what is important. With 2 career families and the list of after school/work activities our children have little time to spend attaching to their parents. I just talked to someone who did day care for many years. She said she knows some of the families picked up their children from her house and then in the evening had activites such as bowling, cards, or just going out and would get another sitter to come to the house in the evening. Then once our children can join in the frinzy they are signed up for dance, soccer, swim lessons and piano. Our children fall into bed exhausted. So the first thing we have to remember is balance. This is what is really important to our child's development:

  • Read to your child beginning when they are very small.

  • Snuggle with them every day.

  • Make eye contact when you are talking, not impatient hurry up eye contact, but you are the most important person in the world eye contact.

  • Tell them you love them every day.

  • Do fun activities together at home: board games, a children's video, play with toys or draw.

  • Turn off the tv.

  • Eat dinner together.

  • Tuck them in at night, say prayers together and let them know how happy you are that you are their mom.

We must cherish our children, make them feel safe and secure. Teach them what life is really all about. It is not about seeing how many activities we can cram into a day or being "the best" in all the activities. Some of those things may help them succeed in a job. More important by far is to prepare them for relationships, for contentment and their inner life.


Tami Boesiger said...

Great advice, Brenda. Tell me, how do these things change as kids get older?

Brenda said...


They don't. In fact as they get older our children need just as much phyical affection but might be embarrassed. So even a pat on the arm or back is helpful. Nancy Thomas believes teens need 12 hugs a day. Of course, the activities we do with our kids change but they needs us as much as ever to spend time and let them know they are ok. They already get knocked down enough by the rest of the world. It such a time of self doubt. They need for us to say, no matter what anyone else thinks, I think you are amazing.

Renee said...

You know I needed this post today. It is nice to know that I do more right than wrong as a parent. The World was kicking the tush of my eldest today. I'm so glad I was there for her immediately and not between activities.