Thursday, February 28, 2008

Hope


I'm taking my youngest in for what our "attachment therapist" calls a tune up. I thought I'd share what recovery has looked like for youngest. Life is so much better for him and with him. This is a child who was so angry we wondered how much longer he would be safe with us. He ripped apart every piece of furniture in his room. Tore up his blinds. Pulled off wood work. Tore holes in walls. He was suspended 5 times last year for fighting at school. He was getting D's and F's on his grade card. He was in my face, calling me names, degrading and attempting to humiliate me many times a day. So what happened? The combination of attachment therapy and EMDR therapy were nothing short of miraculous with him. He apparently had not separated me from his birth mom in his mind at all. One day in EMDR therapy she was talking about what his life was like as a baby. This was not new. Suddenly on this day my son started talking about all the good things we had done today and ways I had taken care of him when he was younger. He looked at me startled. His features softened and you could see realization on his face. Life has not been the same. His grades are up. He is a happier and much more successful person. He has a great relationship with me which I enjoy very much. As for the tunes ups. Stress from school or home will set him back somewhat. He will become more emotional, a little more angry, and disrespectful and I know it is time for him to see the Attachment Therapist again. The reason I am sharing this story is to offer hope. For you mom's out there struggling every day, take care of yourselves. You are smart enough, strong enough and very capable of handling the situation. Get professional help involved, seek out the support of strong friends and do something each day to refresh yourself.

4 comments:

Rick said...

Brenda, I forgot to put a link on my post with your husband's illustration. Sorry. I put in a bunch of them to make up for chances lost.

Thanks for offering hope to family in needs. I am lifting a prayer for you, your son, and the family as I type this comment.

RickY

Brenda said...

Hey RickY...Thanks so much. Don't worry about the link. RAD moms are brilliant and can find all the help they need ; )

Renee said...

Brenda - This is my favorite story. I can read it over and over and love that it is non-fiction.

Brenda said...

Aww. Thanks Renee, it is one of the most amazing things I have ever seen. And hey. I know you : )