Last night after therapy I took the boys out to eat and then to see the movie Spiderwick. The boys loved it. I actually was a little scared which is silly since the whole thing is make believe. I will say the Hogsqueal reminded me greatly of my youngest RAD child....a combo of his ADHD and the grandiose beliefs. Anyway, afterwards my older child with RAD began to argue, fight and find every way he could to annoy and draw me in. Why do they do this? Well, some say they feel they don't deserve good things so it makes them feel bad when they receive it. They don't trust us, so why are we doing this anyway. And it gives them a feeling of family closeness they find terrifying so they are pulling back. It can be hurtful but if you know going into it that it is going to happen it helps. In fact, you can say,"Now make sure afterwards that you do a lot of things to irritate like arguing, sniffing loudly, being rude. I want you to do that." After the event yous say "Don't forget what I want you to do". Reverse psychology often works for their defiant nature. Did I do this? No I forgot. No ones perfect. I'll try again next time. He is still at it this morning so I gave him a huge hug and said "Good morning" as sweetly as I could muster. We can do this.
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