Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Guilt - The Perfume of Motherhood

Yes. It really stinks. But we just keep spraying it on. "Bad grade on a test". Spray some on. " No one likes me." Spray some on. Some how we mothers tend to think a lot of our children's problems are our fault! Not good. How much better to let them experience lifes difficulties. Everyone has them. And let them see that they really are smart enough to handle it and work it out on their own. You are there for guidance if they really need it.....But then let's throw in a little RAD. Here is a child that doesn't like themselves. Is unattached to anyone. Is absolutely miserable. How much guilt does that bring to a mom? Some days I can stand back and see the whole picture and realize it has absolutely nothing to do with me. I am doing what I need to do to help him heal. Other days I play the "If only" game. If only I hugged more, praised more, kept my mouth shut more. So for today. I'll put away the guilt perfume and let him make this his experience. At times when he is ready to work I am ready too. On days or moments when he is not I can quietly handle it and be strong. On days when I am not strong I need to have the sense to take some "mom" time and keep the lips still. So ladies. Put away that stinky perfume. It doesn't help anyone!!