Monday, November 19, 2007

RAD and the Holidays

Holidays are difficult time for children with RAD. It is a change in routine. Possibly a change in location as you go to someone elses house for few days and possibly a stirring of memories. A change in routine is difficult for our kids because it makes them anxious about what is happening next. Where are we going? Will I stay there? The memories of past holidays that were not so good can come to mind. As everyone sits around talking about "remember when", they probably were not there so feel left out. They often feel undeserving of good things so it brings them shame and guilt. We try not to give to much advance notice of things going on as this seems to only prolong the anxiety. As we approach grandmas house we give some basic guidelines for behavior: Walk in the house, if you need anything only ask mom or dad (big problem here with asking others for things they know they can't have/do, or not wanting need met by mom) and keeping the child with the most serious issues close at hand. I also generally pack quiet activities for them to do if we are going someplace where I know there is nothing for them to do. I'd rather sit and play a quiet game with them (I hate board games) then have total chaos break out so that is what I do if needed. It would be nice if we could just go off and hang out with the family and not worry but that is not realistic. So, time for us to remember our special childen's needs and meet them. Tag team with hubby so you each get some family time or include family members in your quiet activity, but keep your child with RAD feeling as safe as possible.


Rachelle said...

Hope you have a good day!

Denise said...

I have a hard time not feeling my daughter's feelings. I know I need to recognize them as her own, but it is so difficult when you are with them 24/7 to not get sucked in! I have to admit, I am really not looking forward to the holidays. I hate to be that honest, but with the regression we have already taken, I can only imagine what the holidays will do. Thanks for the helpful tips though! Blessings to you Brenda and your family!

Tami Boesiger said...

Sounds like the holidays are stressful for Mom and Dad too!