Thursday, November 29, 2007

The Power of Fear

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I don't know where to start here. We are discovering that A has some very big fears from his past that are really interfering with his every day life. This came up in EMDR yesterday. It has a powerful grip on him. It is evident this morning by the anger and hatred spewing from his mouth. He is yelling at me in every conversation. According to him that is what I deserve. That is because to him I am that woman 15 years ago who did not keep him safe. It is hard to believe after 9 years he still sees me as her. The love, caring and nurturing I have tried to give are still far outweighed by the neglect, abuse and drugs of her time. All prayers are appreciated this week as I feel we are at a vital time in treatment. It is will be a tough week.

At the same time, what about our fears? As I tell A that his fears are based on false information. He is no longer in any danger. The signals he is getting are untrue. How many of our adult fears are based on the same false information? How many times are we afraid based on past experiences when it has nothing to do with the present? When I had to start helping my children face their fears I had to start facing mine. This is what I discovered. They were based on past experiences. I am no longer the same person. The fears are based on lies that I had allowed to be put into my heart and let fester. Once I realized this and how different I am and my life is now the fears subsided and a new found sense of strength took over. Food for thought.

3 comments:

Rachelle said...

And it is a lot to chew on. Great insight. I'll be praying for you all.

Tami Boesiger said...

You always give me PLENTY of food for thought. I am finding I have some fears holding me back and trying to deal with them. How have you dealt with yours?

Brenda said...

My answer is a scary one. I went to EMDR therapy. It only took 4 times. I would be glad to talk to you about it privately some time if you want to know. If the thought of therapy is too intimidating I understand that too.