This post is for any of you parents who have kids and wonder. Maybe you have been to many doctors and therapists and no one can help. You cannot figure out what is going on with your child. I don't think you can get a diagnosis on line from reading some hick lady's blog from Nebraska. But I can tell you some things that would be a red flag that would say "It's time to meet with an attachment therapist for an evaluation". Attachment therapy is different than other therapies and even when all others have failed there is a chance for success. So here we go:
Things that break attachment
adoption, foster care, early childhood illness that requires hospitalization or prolonged pain, parent physical or mental illness that separates them from the child physically or emotionally, changes in primary caregiver during the first three years.....These events do not always break attachment. They can just cause some attachment issues. There are some of those remarkable kids out there who are resiliant and get through it. It does effect many.
I'd like to say first and very very importantly that these symptoms can be symptoms of other problems. Don't read them and say "Ah this is it". They do need to see a professional to rule out other things that have the same symptoms.
Attachment Disorder Symptoms
• Superficially engaging & charming
• Lack of eye contact on parents terms
• Indiscriminately affectionate with strangers
• Not affectionate on Parents’ terms (not cuddly)
• Destructive to self, others and material things (accident prone)
• Cruelty to animals
• Lying about the obvious (crazy lying)
• No impulse controls (frequently acts hyperactive)
• Learning Lags
• Lack of cause and effect thinking
• Lack of conscience
• Abnormal eating patterns
• Poor peer relationships
• Preoccupation with fire
• Preoccupation with blood & gore
• Persistent nonsense questions & chatter
• Inappropriately demanding & clingy
• Abnormal speech patterns
• Triangulation of adults
• False allegations of abuse
• Presumptive entitlement issues
• Parents appear hostile and angry
This list is from Nancy Thomas' site.
I hope this helps some mom who is searching. There are answers. Get help. Find support. To the right you will see a list of blogs from adoptive moms. If my style is not one you relate to find one that you do. You are not alone.