Thursday, December 17, 2009

You are a great mom!

I would hear that when my girls were little. When our boys came I'd hear it sometimes but also got the eye rolls, the glares and the looks of shock when we were out and about. When pushing the cart through the grocery store, Taz then 3, would roll off a string of words that would make a sailor blush.  When at the play ground mine would be the ones to shove people down. The school would call and one of them had punched someone again. It is hard on a mom.  We work harder on these kids than we ever had to with our emotionally healthy kids and get worn down.

It does not change that you are a great mom.  The dented walls, scratched car, torn clothes, they do not reflect you. They reflect pain.  Our kids are hurting inside. They were neglected or abused when they were little and their brains were changed.  Rewiring takes time.  Keep going. Empathy, gentle touch and loving words DO work.  Spend time doing some little thing, coloring, watching a Christmas movie. Oh by the way, there are continuous movies on TLC right now that are as sappy as you can get. I watched one with Teddy the other day and he was touched by it. You never know what will speak to them. They will grow up and leave one day. We have to believe we are empacting their lives.  Even those who don't show it much are going to grow up and leave and are still having that Ah Ha moment in their lives. I still have them about things, don't you?

So this Christmas give yourself a present. The present of happiness. It is a choice. You are doing a great job. Remember to care for your body, soul and spirit. This is tough work that can wear you down. Never, never, never quit!


ldw said...

thanks! I so needed to hear that!

waldenbunch said...

Great words. Hard job. Exhausting. So worth it.

BT said...

Thanks for this highly relevant post. You are so right, but too often I think that all those "little things" reflect me and I worry about what others are thinking. Not always, but more often that I should. Your post is going to stick with me.