Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Just another wacky Wednesday.

I have class tonight. Let the explosions begin. Taz had a bad dream about our house blowing up. According to some theorists, in our dreams our house represents our life. Hmmmm. He and Bear have been going at it this morning. Taz was able to show remorse and calm himself (some use the word regulate). Bear is still going at it and has turned it all onto me.

This generally happens on a class day. I will be gone when they get out of school and won't see them until tomorrow. I know it seems contradictory to think a child has no attachment but doesn't want you to leave. He just now walked out the door talking about what a jerk I am because I would only give him one plate for his french toast instead of two. I just said "I love you and I hope your day improves." When my kids go out the door I always think of those kids at Columbine High School. The last memory of them walking out the door cannot be fighting. It just can't.

Back to the contradiction. While Bear loves in the only way he feels safe, which is holding back and fighting it with all he has, he does also have a great fear of abandonment. That fear of abandonment is what drives his fear of me leaving. I asked Taz about it one day and he said "You do always come back from school with a lot of bruises." ?????????????? I've never had a bruise from sitting in a class. It must be so hard to be so afraid.


Jeri said...

You've described my Alex to a T...they push away so hard while still hanging on for dear life. It's what I call Velcro Attachment.

Jules said...

Why not just give him two plates?

Brenda said...

Jules~ They are all wanting to use 2 plates each morning and I guess I just see it as waste. I think instead, (paper plates) I am just going to switch them to a regular plate. I had just told Fish I'd rather they use one plate and so Bear walked out and used two. I told him if Fish has to use one he does too. Trust me, I regret even bringig it up at all. 5 plates would be better than the explosion that happened. I did not expect it to become the big deal it was.