Oh those are the words every mother wants to hear. Bear is angry. He is angry about mini golf. He is angry because he has been sneaking around and doing some things and I figured it out. Just angry. His favorite response is "If you do, that will make me mad." My response "You are already mad Bear." Of course he goes on and on. I know every child is different but I think it was Shakespeare that said "I think thee doest protest too much." Often when he has done something he goes off and rants and raves about it even if I have not asked or only asked one question. I sit quietly while he shoots anger fishing lures at me trying to get me to join into his angry chaos. Sometimes I think he needs to feel like he can "make" me join in. Sometimes I think he feeds off the feeling of chaos. It is what he is comfortable with. Chaos feels like home.
The key to getting through is keeping myself calm and regulated, pray and shut up. Keep the eyes gentle and loving. YES. There are consequences to his actions. And NO they do not teach him a thing. They are necessary because they are a part of life. As an adult there are consequences so we teach them. But they must be done in love. They must be done by maintaining emotional control, not through joining in the yelling and becoming a part of the problem. Do I always succeed? Of course not. But I will never, never, never quit!