That could be a song!
Gas, Belching and RAD
Best time I ever had.
Each time in the car
My child became sad.
Suddenly everyone yelled
"EGAD".
There are some physical and emotional reasons driving this physical phenomenon in our children. Their anxiety level has their stomachs in an uproar. This can cause gas and belching. Here are some sites that talk about it.
Nancy Thomas
Right Health has a variety of articles on which you can click
Think of how your stomach feels when you are getting ready to take a test, perform or speak on a stage, or about to have a frightening medical procedure. Our children live in a state of hyperarousal. This is due to actual changes in the brain. I try to sometimes think of my child as traumatized rather than having RAD and it helps me to be more sympathetic or empathetic toward them. When the gas starts I know they are feeling unsafe. In fact with one of ours it is a sure sign that he is feeling a lot of fear at that moment.
What to do: Talk to your child about what to do. Go to the bathroom to relieve himself. Talk about the fear. Comfort and calm your child. Rather than think "This child is trying to offend me." Think "This child is so afraid it is upsetting his whole digestive system!" I keep some cheap nice smelling body splash in my car and spray it around if need be. I often don't say a word but just start spraying.
YES: Sometimes it is just to annoy you. If you let it annoy you then you are reinforcing the behavior. If it is at home it is easy because you can send them to the bathroom. For us it is more likely to happen in the car. So I roll down windows for a few minutes. Sometimes it is too hot or cold but it is worth it for a few minutes.
Educate: Let your child know that while this is a normal bodily function it is something that can be learned to controlled to an extent.
Belching: Everyone burps. We just expect it to be done with the mouth closed and followed by "excuse me." Anything other than that results in "You my come back and eat when I am done." I do realize different families view this in different ways. I know in some the whole family belches away. I'm an ol' fuddy duddy so not at our house.
Realize: You can't control bodily functions. What goes in and what comes out is really in their control so don't get to hung up on it. Remember the underlying factors that may be involved.
Have a healing day!
10 comments:
Do NOT let Life read this! This is one symptom that she has not developed yet - and we would like to keep it this way. :)
But she sure is giving her teachers a go of it. They had a meeting today after school with a behavioral specialist about what to do with her. Hopefully their new plan will help. She is really testing the teachers to see if they can control her or not. I hope the teachers win this control battle or it is really going to be a long year for all of us.
Does she have an IEP? If you can get her into special ed it has been big help to us all the way through school, especially in middle school and high school.
Yes - she is in special ed already. She is in a regular classroom with a special ed aid in there. She is working both teachers over pretty well. Her IEP includes removing her from the classroom when she gets disruptive. How have your schools handled your boys when they just refuse to do anything? She loses recess, but I think she hates recess anyway, so no problem for her. They say open the book, she says "no." Failure doesn't phase her. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
An added note would be that my son went to college a few weeks ago (upsetting Life), then school started and her adoption date is next week. So she does have a lot going on. But I mostly think she is just challenging the teachers authority to see how far she can take things. She is throwing out feelers to see how they will respond.
She might have to go to a self contained room for awhile and earn back the regular classroom. Taz had to do that a few times before he decided he didn't want to keep going in there. Attachment therapy is really the only thing that helped him. Well, now adding this new medication for TBI has helped additionally but nothing helped like AT.
The good news is that she has not turned any of this on us as her parents. Last school year when she would have trouble, she would call CPS (she has their business card) and asked to be moved saying "this is just not the right family for me." She never really wanted to be moved, that was just her pattern, to run when things went badly. This time, she has not asked to move which I think is HUGE. She is responding well to us as parents and has promised to be respectful to her teachers today because "Smith's" never quit and "Smith's" show respect. We are writing both of these sayings in the palm of her hand this morning to remind her. She liked that idea. We'll see how today goes.
It is hard to know during the day that they are probably struggling so much. I hurt for you just hearing it. ((((hugs))))
Well I spoke too soon. She blew up right after I wrote earlier saying that she was just going to run away rather than do anything at school. She left for school quite upset (but to wait until she calms down would have set a pattern that we don't want to keep either). Maybe since she was crying it will give her some emotional relief, but I would guess that today is going to be a very long day for her teachers. If only she could see that her life would be so much easier for herself if she would just quit fighting everything and everyone. Please do keep her in your prayers. We go to therapy tomorrow, so maybe that will help.
Oh I am so sorry. Mornings are hard here. I think the anxiety level is so high. In their minds they must be preparing to go off for battle.
I stopped by for lunch and she was happy to see me and seemed fine. When asked how the morning went she said "Well at the end of physical therapy, it started to go downhill. There was a problem with the crayons, but I cleaned it all off the floor, so it is ok now." I can't wait to hear the teacher's version of that story! Also phyical therapy?? - I think she must be having her own PE class in isolation with an aid. She goes to PT, but not at school. I'm sure there is a story there too!
I am always amazed by the difference in my child's version and everyone elses.
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