Friday, September 4, 2009

Beauty in Darkness

My friend Juanita took this photo. She is an amazing photographer and was kind enough to allow me to use her photo. I love it and immediately thought of the beauty shining in the pitch black night.

When we parent children with RAD we go through emotional times that are the dark night. It can be very lonely because it is a disorder not many know about. If they do know they may not believe it or understand it. All of us have a need to be understood. I know some of you have husbands who do not understand either and my heart goes out to you. I'm going to share some ideas that have helped me when I am in those dark times.

Count your blessings. Look at your other relationships; family, friends, church, support groups, counselors. I do remember a time when I went to the counselor and he saw me privately first. He asked what good things were in my life. I could not think of one. Sometimes the darkness can envelop us. Being aware that is happening is the first step to coming out of it. He started mentioning some good things he knew of and I brightened and thought "Oh yeah". Look for the sunflowers on the side of the road, for the mums that are starting to bloom. Watch for the sunrise and the sunset. Listen to a small child laugh while passing you in the store. Enjoy those incredible small things. They are, to me, some of life's best things.

Take care of your physical needs. Maintain you health appointments, begin again with healthy eating, and start to move. If you feel you can't leave the house, pop in an exercise DVD. Our library has a ton.

Become proactive. Start looking for ways to make your life better. Institute a family fun night and go play mini golf, play games, etc. Set up a place where you can read, do a craft or some hobby that is just yours.

Go to church. Sing praises to God, look for ways to encourage and be encouraged. Focus on someone else who is going through a hard time. Send them a card, email or a phone call and let them know you are there for them and will pray for them. Sometimes the best exercise for the heart is to lift up another.

Have a healing day~for yourself.

And if you are in the darkness remember that the sun does come out in the morning.

1 comment:

peggysue said...

What an excellent post! I agree with all the things you have said. Darkness can envelop us sometimes and it is soooooo important to look for the things for which to be thankful. I can start with my salvation, nothing can ever take that away.

I also love looking for little flowers that struggle through the cracks in the sidewalk, a little peep of unexpected color in the midst of concrete. The sunsets lately have been gorgeous, a text message from my oldest DD at college (because I think my DS has forgotten he has a family :)), a hug from my husband. And that little space for a hobby, I have that for my papercrafts, they help keep me sane.
The worship at our church is amazing, it lifts me up out of my troubles or gives me an outlet to cry to the Lord.

I think everyone who answers should list something for which they are thankful, those little rays of light. Thanks Brenda, great post.