Friday, June 5, 2009
Yesterday I had to leave at noon and would not be home until 11 pm. I made arrangements for Bear and Taz as they cannot be left home alone even though they are physically 14 and 16 yo. Emotionally they are much younger. It doesn't do much good to get frustrated about it. It is really where they are at and they need to be treated their emotional age so they can come forward. Taz was having a lot of anxious behaviors. He was yelling at siblings and me, running through the house making constant nonsensical chattering noises. I was upstairs fixing my hair in the bathroom. I called to Taz to come upstairs. I said "Taz I see you are nervous about me being gone so much. Everything is gong to be ok. I always come back. Sit down here near me for awhile." So he had time in. Time in is when they sit near me. It is calming to them and works much faster than a time out. He sat their for several minutes and I could visibly seeing him coming back to the planet. Sometimes our kids need the opposite of what our gut cries out for us to do. Sometimes it has to be a logical decision instead of an emotional one on our part. Yes. There are times I am aggravated because I am busy and do whatever is easiest. But I need to really work logically. He is anxious because I am leaving so needs to spend some time near me and be reassured. Makes perfect sense.