Saturday, May 23, 2009

Random thoughts on RAD

I was reading some of your comments last night and it really made me think....you guys are awesome by the way.

If I KNOW that change is difficult for my kids and then they go back in to fight/flight/freeze mode when change occurs why am I making the change more difficult????? Yes. We have a set schedule. That has been good. But I already have activities planned for afternoons. Remember when the kids first come to your house? We work hard at making their world's very small. We want them to know we are different than other people so we keep them home with us as much as possible at first. I'm thinking that should have been my immediate plan for school letting out for the summer. Stay home the first few days and adjust. Yes. They would still be explosive but it is much easier to work on their anxiety and fear at home then out and about. I'm thinking there would be less of it. I think we will spend a great deal of time at home the next 3 days and consider this the adjustment period.

They need constant reassurance. "You are safe." "I am not leaving." "No one is taking you away." "I love you forever." They need boundaries. "That is not OK to say to your brother. It hurt his feelings. You'll need to empty the trash for him today to make it up to him." That sort of thing. Go to the library and get them a boat load of books. Pick one to read together! Play basketball in the driveway. Go on walks around the neighborhood. Clean together. Plant a garden. Play board games. Together is the key and close to home, in my humble mom opinion.

If you do not yet have an oasis, for many years my oasis was the bathroom. It is the only place I could go lock the door for a few minutes and breath. Take a magazine and a cup of coffee. Light a candle and take a bath. It may be a small oasis but it can still be one.

Hurray for our Kids

This week:

Eagle has a job interview this coming week!

Dancer is home for a few days.

Fish has helped me out with Taz a couple of times when I needed it.

Bear is dong his chores without complaining.

Taz still has those sweet moments when he comes back to me.

Have a great memorial day weekend!

1 comment:

BeckyJoie at Leaders in Learning said...

Good post as usual. Thanks for letting a stranger like me interact with you on the RAD issues. I'm glad we met via blogosphere. :>)