Saturday, March 14, 2009

What is your pet peeve?

The above drawing is by Rick at Organized Doodles
In case you can't tell Rick and I like giving each other a hard time about life in general. He does a lot of counseling himself and so I am sure he will be a great resource for me in years to come. He just doesn't know it yet. Mom's of special needs kids have a TON of Pet Peeves. Here is your chance to air your grievances in a nonjudgmental forum! : ) Here are two of my major ones.

People who ask "Do you kids all have the same father?" to which I reply "yes". I am their mother. My husband is their father. I do get some weird looks as we are not all the same ethnicity but tough.

The second is "Professionals" who don't believe in RAD. Excuse me. It is in the DSM-IV which is accepted written by the American Psychiatric Association.

So....what have you got for me?


Diana said...

I'll take it one step further - professionals who don't believe in RAD or PTSD and label kids with stuff like ODD that totally misses the mark and pins the cause and reposonsibility for the behavior solely on the child.

Overpaid professionals who tell you to research what medications you want and they'll write a Rx. Whatever. How about offering some tools that don't involve medication!!

Real life people who tell you "this is normal kid stuff" and to lighten up because your kids will "outgrow it."

Or, how about the grumpy old kook in Walmart who critically asked me why I don't beat my son when he has a meltdown in the store. Now there's an effective solution!

truevyne said...

Sometimes, when I'm feeling cantankerous, I say, "No, my children have different baby daddies, but they are all mine."

And that RAD doesnt' exist. I think of Jesus when he says, "He who has ears, let him hear." Apparently, some simply won't have ears to hear about this very real struggle for trust and relationship through pain.

waldenbunch said...

When people think I'm too hard on my adopted kids because they're "adopted." Well, that's why they have to have limits. They have issues because they're adopted. They cannot be treated the same as my bio kids.

Also, when people say, you adopted 3 kids? You're so wonderful. Gag me. I'm just a weak mom who can do all things through Christ. It's called obedience, not fun.

Rick said...

How about people that give me a hard time and don't realize that I'm a very sensitive type deep down inside. "snif"

Thanks for sharing the doodle, and more for the friendship.

What? Me a resource for counseling? You'll be in big trouble when you have to resort to looking to me for wisdom.

Brenda said...


You spell sniff wrong.

Anonymous said...

When people see little radish's charming side and think I'm too hard on her. If they only knew!
And people who think I am a saint because we adopted all of our kids. Nope, just obedient and following God's will and thankful to be a parent at all. And some days a raving, screaming lunatic just like every other parent on earth :-)
Linda N

Lorraine said...

My RADlet is also in a wheelchair. He is also very small for his age, partially due to a rad related eating disorder. I get such dirty looks if I tell him "no" in a store. I have to watch his diet per his doctors, and so when I push him to eat a little more, or don't let him go play when he has eaten nothing all day, I get people giving me advice such as "he will eat when he is hungry" or telling I am trying to feed him too much. He has a need to always be the center of attention, and sometimes it's not appropriate, so I will sometimes remove him when he is going overboard and doing silly things for attention. All the people who think he is so cute, think I am mean and over reacting.

Torina said...

Oh boy. Definitely people that tell me I am a saint for adopting my kids. Gross.

My other HUGE pet peeve is how adoption agencies and some social workers portray our kids. They make our kids out like they will ruin ones life. They talk about disruption and "poor success rates" as adults and all that before they ever talk about how rewarding it is to parent these wonderful lives. Go to any adoption agency site and compare how they portray international with foster care adoption. The issues the kids come home with are the same...but the selling and the money made is not.

Brenda said...


I didn't realize adoption agencies did that. The kids do have the same issues. Along with what you are saying, I think Social Services needs to be more honest about the issues kids have and provide better training.

ali said...

when people say "hes a typical boy, my son does that too." LOLOLOL too funny.
people who think that getting a diagnosis is getting a CURE. NOPE.
people who think therapy is the do all/be all of these kids lives. there is so much more to their happiness & healing than weekly therapy/shrinks.
therapists who spend 13 weeks straight playing cards with my son and tell me "i am building his trust with ME" i want you to build his trust with US-NOT YOU.
therapists that won't tell me anything he tells them. then what's the point????
can you tell i am done with therapy??? LOL