Friday, October 24, 2008

This and That

Wall of Gratitude: A while back I put a marker board on the frig for people to write what they are thankful for. The kids were all writing on it often even Bear who generally is not aware of his blessings. They have stopped. I am the only one writing on it. They are both going through tough times. I think this is a good indicator of how they are feeling on the inside. I think I'll know when they are feeling better when they start writing again. Love the Wall of Gratitude.

Taz is regressing to some toddler behavior, movements and ways of talking. That means I need to during those moments give him what a toddler needs. He needs comfort, gentleness, snuggling and in general being accepted as a toddler. It tells me he is dealing with whatever upset him so much. I think it is a combination of several things actually.

Bear is still pushing back hard and strong after almost 10 years. 10 years of rejection is tough. It will be worth it. I am going to try a more BC approach with his negative comments though. I am going to work on myself as far as assuming when he makes a comment he really meant nothing by it. I am going to work on trying to look at things through his eyes. How does he view me? How does he view Taz? It may be a very warped view but it is his picture. Then I'm going to ask myself "If this is how I see her what do I need?" I'm going to really give this some thought and try some different approaches and get back to you.

Last of all, Halloween is fast approaching. Costumes, tons of candy and snacks are everywhere. We need to protect our kids with RAD from the scary movies, haunted houses and the mountains of sugar. None of those things make them stronger or feel safer.

3 comments:

Denise said...

There is no doubt about it, Brenda ~ rejection hurts! Your positive attitude and perserverance is to be commended. I continue to struggle daily with Mackenzie. She has picked up on what love should "look like", so she freely exhibits that with everyone else and all the while she is doing it looks at me to see what my reaction will be to her showing love to everyone else and purposely excluding me. She always looks so pleased with her efforts until she realizes that her actions don't get the rise out of me that she is hoping for. It's amazing how all of a sudden the "love" for others quickly stops when Mommy shows no concern over the lack of attention and "love". It's difficult to pretend that it doesn't hurt, but if I didn't, she would only find my responses encouraging.

I hope things get better at your house and that you will see some new posts on your wall of gratitude soon. Hang in there! Thanks for the reminder of how important a positive attitude is.

Have a good weekend!

Christine said...

Our RADishes have never experienced Halloween. So, we're doing it up, big time - only the fun and happy stuff.

They will all get to keep seven pieces of candy (one each day for a week), and then my husband and I buy the rest from them. That's what we normally do with the kids, and we think it'll be great with our "new normal."

Just read your Wal Mart post, too. So sorry, Brenda. Today was the first time Rocky deliberately made Michael out to be a bad father, in front of another adult. We were able to take a step back and figure out what the trigger was (this man walked up to say we were not supposed to be riding bikes on the BMX track at the park - which we didn't know because no signs were posted). He must have had so much fear that this man was "police" or something. He just lost it, and had verbal diarrhea.

For the last several days, he has not started to rage when we point out things like this. I know that is soooooooo difficult for him. He doesn't agree, but he doesn't argue. We acknowledge it, so we know he's trying.

Still - today - not pretty.

Brenda said...

Christine,

Awww. Your poor hubby. I still find public rejection hurts so much.