Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Grandma Schwarzenegger

I've used this photo before and talked about this long ago. I need the reminder. Nancy Thomas said at her seminar I went to that mom's of kids with RAD have to be one part Grandma and one part Arnold Schwarzenegger. I thought that was profound. When I think of my grandma's I thin of Aunt Bea from Andy Griffith. They were always cooking something yummy. They had such sweet kind ways. They always wore those cotton "house dresses". I could listen to their stories forever. Then their is Arnold, muscles ripping saving the world from mass destruction.

Grandma: We need to be that kind of loving person who looks for the good in our kids. Gentle and sweet, baking goodies for them and feeding them hand to mouth ourselves.

Arnold: We have to have great strength physically to keep up with these kids. Sometimes we have to do physical holds. You might want to find out what a safe legal hold is considered in your state. I would look on the internet or check with law enforcement. It also takes great inner strength to shut our own mouths so the anger doesn't spill out. That takes us back to regulation though. It takes a lot of practice, which by the way, means som failures, to learn to regulate our own emotions. I find the more I do it the easier it becomes. That doesn't mean I never have a blow out. It means they get farther apart. Improvement is good.

Some days I don't feel like grandma or Arnold. At those times I know it is time to get away. Time to go for coffee with a friend and talk about something else. Time to lay down and watch something I like on tv (there isn't much), read a book I've wanted to read. Even Aunt Bea and Arnold Schwarzenegger rest sometimes!

I don't know if you have seen the movie Peaceful Warrier. There is some good stuff in that movie. I tried to add a You Tube into the body of this but I'm going to have to send it separately. It made it there last so is up above.


Karen Deborah said...

I didn't know you had it in you!

Unspeakable Joy said...

love that explanation! maybe THAT is why it's so hard. well geez, there are so many reasons it's so hard. but the being so sweet and so strong at the same time, tough! thanks!