Friday, June 6, 2008
Where do we go from here?
I have so much had my 15 yo son with Rad on my mind the last few days. We ended or took a break from (not sure which) Attachment Therapy on Tuesday. I had decided a year ago I was going to devote a year to focusing mainly on the two boys with RAD and work on whatever it took to help them heal. During the year we saw regularly an Attachment therapist, and EMDR therapist, and a psychiatrist. We had a neuropsych evaluation done on the older one. We saw huge progress in the younger and he was able to quit going to all therapy. The older remained stuck in his past. Over a year has come and gone. I was not prepared to feel as emotionally drained at the end of the time as I was. I realize I need to have a more healthy balance. Going back to school is one way for me to do this. I also need to spend more time with my emotionally healthy children and my husband. I did try to do this during the last year but did really focus on the two boys. I am also saddened. I know the ability to deal with his horrible fears lies with him, not me or doctors. I am here if and when he is ready. He will be 16 at the end of this month. I can hear the clock ticking. RAD is hard on moms. We can pray for each other. Pray for our children. The ultimate gift we can give them is to love them as they are, without expecting love in return. Not all children will heal from RAD but many will. I so far have one of each. Finding a balance of being realistic and faith and hope is difficult. Regardless of what he does I must continue to do the healing theraputic mothering. It is what he needs. Have a healing day.