Wednesday, May 21, 2008
This Mom Will Leave Me
It is the biggest fear of every child with RAD. This mom will do what all the others did. We can say we will stay. We will never leave them. But then, what about death? They know they will be gone then and we can't stop that. My son's fear of me leaving rules his life. He is completely out of touch with his feelings of fear and sadness and immediately changes them to anger. We talked about these things in therapy yesterday. I asked him if he felt keeping me at a distance will work. If he will not feel bad if I die because he has kept me at a distance. Of course it doesn't work. I asked if he felt since my mother is getting older if I should back away and not be so close so it won't hurt when she dies. No of course not. I told him I choose, instead, to value the time I have left with her and be closer. To love her every minute and make sure she knows. We discussed this in depth. I can never tell when we are in therapy if he says the right things to get out of there or if he says them because he means them. Time will show which it was.