Monday, May 19, 2008
Our older son with RAD has decided his new "phrase" is "I'm not ready to take the step to trust you yet." He has tagged on the word yet because it removes any need to make progress now from him. I told him about how my dad died of cancer at age 47. I am 51. I do not want to scare him but none of us knows how long we have left or what will happen. "Not yet" tend to be the words I think many people regret most in life. Teens think they have all the time in the world and that bad stuff happens to the other guy. Not necessarily so. So how to move him out of the "I'm not doing it yet." phase. This is a tough one. I am greatly looking forward to starting the Beyond Consequences book tomorrow. I have gone to the website beyondconsequences.com and am signed up for the online support group. I am enjoying reading the emails of those who have used this method and been successful. Our school gets out on Wednesday afternoon. I am going to have a lot more time with the boys and am actually excited instead of dreading the summer. I plan on having some strong nurturing therapeutic times with them this summer. I want to work very hard on 3 things that seem to work so well with them empathy, attunement and physical closeness. Plan on a healing summer. Map out how you will do snuggle time, doing quiet bonding activities and take time to talk. They make it hard because they insult, sniff (if your child does not have RAD that sounds silly) and yell their way away from you as much as they can. I plan on success.