Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Hardest Part

I was thinking last night about what if someone asked "What is the hardest part about parenting a child with RAD?" I don't know what you would say but for me I think it is the persistent day after day dealing with it. It is unrelenting. Year after year. You wonder if this is all it will be like in the future. To know each morning when you get up the manipulation, yelling and insults will start, waiting for the phone to ring during the day from school, after school he will come out ready for a fight. He will point out that when he is at school he is happy. It is only when he is with you he is not. This will continue throughout the evening unless dad walks into the room and it will instantly be silent. This wears a person down and can make you feel overwhelmed. I hope I don't use the word overwhelmed to often but it is the best one for the feeling I get. So what to do. I find when I do this I am focusing way to much on the RAD. I start focusing on other relationships and pouring some energy into them. I pull back and spend a little more time alone doing things that refresh and energize me. This is not being selfish or self centered. It is taking care of your children's mama and that is important. For any of you feeling discouraged today know it can get better. If you need to gain hope from my youngest who is doing so much better. I believe there is hope for every child. Our therapist says "If they are breathing there is hope." On days when I used to feel I was losing hope on a child I would have to just fall back on the hope our therapist always gave us. So if need be, gain hope from me. I believe your child can get better. Find the right therapist, don't give up, keep your faith and hold on.

"Faith is the susbstance of things hoped for. The evidence of things not seen." God


Bren said...

Ooooh, I have certainly felt the way you describe, and not only a few times...pretty regularly. I have been parenting my daughter for 7 1/2 years now and I do see some improvement...actually there is alot of improvement. 11 therapists later and that many therapists saying "she is beyond our training.", only 2 areas remain a problem...lying and stealing, and they always go hand in hand and they always center around food...sugar namely.
The hardest part for me (changes from week to week) is the uncertainty of her future. I am seriously concerned about whether or not she will end up in jail for petty theft over and over again. She does not have the "voice" telling her not to do it...her brain tells her it is survival, though it is impossible for me to see how stealing mints from my purse will help you survive. You are right, it is daily. I have NO idea how parents do this without God in the drivers seat! The verse you quoted is my signature verse where my dd is concerned!

Rachelle said...

Keep on keeping on! You do a great job!!

Brenda said...


The future is a big one too. We had a very nonproductive therapy session today. I kept thinking, "remember what you said this morning!"

Bren said...

Today is a bad one here too. I need some peace.