Friday, March 7, 2008

Siblings and RAD

We have a couple of inches of snow and it is 8 degrees. If I have to spring forward tomorrow night I'd like a little spring. Seems fair doesn't it? We always have a little wave goodbye from winter during March though. Sometimes even during April. I tried to send a song from You Tube to my site today and so if about 5 of them show up today I will apologize ahead of time and will delete some.

Siblings. We adopted a sibling group of 3 from foster care. Many of the attachment experts say not to have siblings with RAD in the same home. The chances of successful treatment are very slim. I have seen why first hand. Our youngest has had some tremendous healing from RAD. But when he is in the same room, car, hemisphere as his brother with RAD all of the behaviors come back. They have a trauma bond. The trauma of their past all comes up when they see each other. They give each other the adrenalin rush they cannot get from me (most of the time). It has been suggested I do not allow them in the same room unless an adult who knows RAD is in the room with them and between them. So that is what we try to do. They want this feeling of chaos and adrenalin rush so badly they seek each other out and try to get to each other. It is a constant battle to keep them apart. We also have the issue of one healing before the other. The remaining child is so jealous of the healing child. I can see why the therapists say not to allow a sibling group to remain together if they have RAD but I can also see it can work. It takes constant vigilance, stamina and much mother self care to get through it. For further reading on the subject see: by Deborah Hage from Nancy Thomas' website written by Beck Malecki


Anonymous said...

Thank you! I look forward to reading more but your link is not working for me. Any alternatives?

Brenda said...