Saturday, March 29, 2008

Presumptive entitlement issues

Arrogance. You owe me. It is all about me. These could also be listed behind this title. Kids who have been through trauma have a characteristic that comes off as prideful, arrogant ownership of each situation. I think it probably more of a case of several of the other symptoms making things appear this way. They are bossy because they want to be in control. They have no empathy for others so don't care what you think. They don't trust anyone and they are certainly not starting with you. The only person they believe can take care of themselves is....themselves. So they really do have a case of "look out for #1". They are hypervigilent: Always watching for someone who is out to make fun of, hurt, or betray them. We have to ask them how they think other people feel. To demonstrate and talk about empathy. To tell them they have to sometimes allow someone else to go first. Mine are not allowed to walk through a door before me. They must speak to you respectfully. Talk about making decisions that are good for the whole family and not just one person. It is a hard lesson when you don't trust but it can be made better. As they heal this will be one of the first ones to go! Good news!

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