I believe I have mentioned before Nancy Thomas' thoughts on this. Moms of RAD kids need to be combination of Grandma and Arnold Schwarzeneeger. Isn't he/she pretty?????
Parenting a child with RAD takes great strength:Ok. That muscle is gross. Maybe a women size bicep:
Anyway, we need great strength. We need to be strong enough to bite our tongue when our child is trying to manipulate us. We need to be firm in our discipline without being mean. We need to stand by our decisions and not become mush when we feel it would be easier to just hide and pretend we don't see. We need to keep taking them to therapists and psychiatrists on the days when we don't want to talk about it or feel too tired to deal with it. We need to be strong enough to take their hurting words. We need to be strong enough to take care of ourselves and take time to rejuvenate. We need to be strong enough to say "Today I am taking time for my spouse (healthy children, friends) and I will not allow you to demand all of my time." We need to be strong enough that we don't believe what they say about us is true.
Grandma: Maybe this is not a true representation of todays grandma. If it is I need to learn to knit before I become one. But the message is clear. Kind, sweet and loving. We need to comfort with food. I realize this is the opposite of what we learned about parenting our healthy children. But children with RAD have a craving for sugar. They missed out on getting a need met as infants that sugar seems to comfort. It needs to come from our hands and whenever possible be put directly in their mouths. They need the gentle touches and sweet words a grandma would give. They need for us to be like grandma and see the good in them even when no one else can.
So Grandma Schwarzeneggers get in there and.....hug.