Saturday, October 20, 2007

You Make Me Sick

Well now Alex is making me pay for leaving him for 24 hours. He even admits that is true and keeps right on going. He started immediately when we got home yesterday. Chris left to go to the Y and Alex started yelling, crying and screaming. I made him do a few jumping jacks. When he finished he yelled "You make me sick mom." What a telling sentence. Yes. Moms do make him sick. Emotionally. I went in to hug him and tell him he was going to be ok and that we would make it through all this together. He would not let me in but only repeated that he did not deserve to do jumping jacks and that I was so mean. Such huge fear and sadness.

5 comments:

Renee said...

Hmmm, My sweet A has been telling me she is sick of me. Something in the air?

You are being so patient, can I have some of that?

Brenda said...

Maybe it is mom flu. I have been in attachment therapy so long I have learned to just parrot out the words and not even think about it, well, most of the time.

Denise said...

Brenda!!
I finally found you here in the blog world - it's good to see you back! Those words can cut so deep, but your strength amazes me. It was really nice to see the good stuff with R. Can't wait to see you and hear all about the conference too. Sounds like you learned some new things and will be able to use this knowledge in the path that God is leading you on. Praying for you in all of this.

Tami Boesiger said...

Back to the old grind, huh? Does it get easier? It seems you are learning how best to handle these situations. I'm grateful you are learning how to tune out what is being said from what is really happening inside.

Brenda said...

Tami,

What I am learning to do is to see the words for what they are. They mean "My birth mom made me sick. I am hurting and sad." I don't take it personally as othen. I also have learned the correct resonses in attachment therapy, reading and the seminar. So I do know what to say and do a lot more of the time now. Patience is what I need. I want microwave answers and am getting slow cooking instead!