tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3134242791095743131.post7015967520958246783..comments2023-11-20T06:44:48.331-06:00Comments on LIVING WITH RAD: Personalized ParentingBrendahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05811548306583601019noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3134242791095743131.post-35261992973754816692010-11-16T09:53:02.915-06:002010-11-16T09:53:02.915-06:00Mine had a rough time on a drama team and gymnasti...Mine had a rough time on a drama team and gymnastics, but is brilliant on swim team. Sometimes we take a hiatus for 2-3 weeks to get grounded and connected, but otherwise it's magical. In my view, her success has absolutely everything to do with the coach. If I could design a therapeutic coach for her, he would be it. I will make as many decisions as possible based on the adult in charge.Erikahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02796074113452787998noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3134242791095743131.post-53242340558940068732010-09-28T09:25:23.204-05:002010-09-28T09:25:23.204-05:00We unfortunately have had to cut all activities fo...We unfortunately have had to cut all activities for our RAD kid right now. It was just too much and you never knew what was coming next. Keeping her and others safe was mostimportant. maybe we will try again next year. Check out my blog<br />http://parentingreactiveattachmentdisorder.blogspot.com/2010/09/that-time-of-year.htmlEmmahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10749029989526877905noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3134242791095743131.post-22130592904849579422010-09-26T10:43:36.426-05:002010-09-26T10:43:36.426-05:00Mary the Mom,
I think the explanation you gave is...Mary the Mom,<br /><br />I think the explanation you gave is a great one. I would also explain that your child is emotionally fragile and that what they need right now is time to be with family and feel safe. As they heal you will let them venture out into more activities but that you value their emotional health to much to put them in situations where they feel unsafe. You also have to believe in wha you are doing enough to ask those professionals to trust your judgment and to know you have your child's best intersst at heart as well as those of the rest of your family. You are right that having a family plays into it. Everyone deserves to have their needs met, including the mother. There is great value in teaching a child that they cannot be in a certain activity because we have to consider the needs as a family, not just individuals.Brendahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05811548306583601019noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3134242791095743131.post-13137516407591040362010-09-26T10:37:55.983-05:002010-09-26T10:37:55.983-05:00We have to look at each child as an individual, bu...We have to look at each child as an individual, but also the family as a whole and that is hard for caseworkers and therapists and school staff and all the other people involved in each of my children's lives separately to understand. <br /><br />Yes, I could probably allow my RAD child to do a lot more activities, but since he requires line of sight supervision that means the other kids would have to lose out. It's hard to balance everyone's needs while Hubby and I working full-time jobs (and other jobs).<br /><br />How do you deal with people who think you're not doing enough for a specific child? Most people it's none of their business, but some of my kids have caseworkers, therapists, and special education administrators that I'm to some extent accountable to.<br /><br />Mary in TXmarythemomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08205319256573120866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3134242791095743131.post-19630794543062423562010-09-25T16:50:20.772-05:002010-09-25T16:50:20.772-05:00BeckJoie,
I do so agree with understanding why pe...BeckJoie,<br /><br />I do so agree with understanding why people express concerns. I used to be the Queen of snappy comebacks until I realized that people really often are trying to be nice. I now try to look at the intent with which the comment was made. If they persist a simple "All kids are different and I have to do what I think is best for each one." My job is not to make them understand, because maybe they can't or won't. But I can still be kind.Brendahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05811548306583601019noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3134242791095743131.post-21995974913207691192010-09-24T22:36:30.829-05:002010-09-24T22:36:30.829-05:00So very true, even with emotionally healthy kids. ...So very true, even with emotionally healthy kids. You need to do what is right for your family.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3134242791095743131.post-65090672623424711482010-09-24T21:56:39.944-05:002010-09-24T21:56:39.944-05:00I agree also. We are making progress in that area ...I agree also. We are making progress in that area in our home too. For a long time, socialization was all negative for both of my kids but now they are each able to handle different levels of socialization. People looking in from the outside will always have opinions and not everyone's opinions are the same so trying to please people is not even possible. It's good that you are focused on your own children's needs and not the needs/ideas of others who wish they could help but really don't understand. I always tell myself in consolation, "They may be wrong but they mean well. At least it shows they care."BeckyJoiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14148874214990884785noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3134242791095743131.post-46574210271644893922010-09-24T20:47:40.181-05:002010-09-24T20:47:40.181-05:00Thank you for this post, it really comforts me to ...Thank you for this post, it really comforts me to know someone understands.Beckyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14840067835526190187noreply@blogger.com